It isn’t hard to feel invisible in the world today. So much is going on, and thanks to the internet, the conversation never stops. It easier than ever to feel like no one sees us.
The trick is to ask yourself:
How do I want to be seen?
I don’t think there is a more important question we could ask ourselves. Despite what people say, there is nothing we can do to make people notice us. All we can control is how people see us if they stumble upon us.
Some people call this personal branding… I hate that term. I am not a Coke! I have a reputation not a brand!
I love to see how people react to me when they first meet me. I am an open book, and many have learned at their own peril not to ask me questions they don’t want me to answer honestly.
You see, in 1997, I lost everything. My three best friends turned their back on me…
One of them, stole my identity, my college fund, got me evicted from my house, turned my other friends against me, and didn’t even understand how that could have upset me. I was devastated. My life in rumble around me, I learned the most important lesson of my life: Never lie to anyone!
I invested years in a relationship with a person who had no intention of being my friend. He only wanted to use me to make his life better, screw the consequences.
I decided right then and there to be honest with everyone I meet. No games, no lies. If people don’t like me for who I am, then they are not the people I need to have around me. In return, I ask one thing of the people in my life:
Never Lie to me
Trust is a two way road. I am willing to bear my soul and be authentically who I am at all times, the very least I can expect in return from other people is that they will never lie to me.
I tell people that. “I consider you a friend now. I have been honest with you, and I expect you to do the same. If I ever find out you have lied to me from this point on, I am not sure I can remain friends with you.”
Yeah, it is a little blunt, but that is how I am. I don’t expect everyone to be as open as I am, but I expect them to be honest in their dealings with me.
Stop worrying about being noticed
It is far more important to consider what people see when you are noticed. If you are a decent person, they will spread the word. The truth will always win out.
How do you see your relationships with others?
Do you think there are any other traits besides honesty and authenticity we should expect from each other?